I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
