so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize