I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
