party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
