I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I could fuck to npr.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
