I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
