Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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