My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
