Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
