He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
