I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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