With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
