I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
