So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
