im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
