Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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