Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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