Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
