I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
