ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
