apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize