Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
