she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
