Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
