I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
