Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
this just has baby written all over it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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