My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
