Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
