a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
