I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
