Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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