I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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