Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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