there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
