I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
