I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
