is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize