I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
