Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
