I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
