Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
