You really coming over, don't trick.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
