i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
