she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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