I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
