Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
