I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
