i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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