I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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