My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
