Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
