I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
