You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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