we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
