I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
this hospital has no fireball
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
