just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
