Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
