The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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