So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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