please come you make the beer taste better
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
