I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
