i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
They are going to name an STD after you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
