it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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