So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
