if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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