I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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