dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize