Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
