somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We smell like vodka and hangover
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
