They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
