Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
