i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
