I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
