lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
