Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
